I realize that I have only been back into the online dating world for about two weeks now.
But, when I woke up this morning and read the new emails that I had received, I was just SO OVER this whole thing already and almost ready to quit after my month long membership expires at the end of February. I'll just be a spinster.
Why are there so many weirdos out there?!?!
I don't like to exchange phone numbers before actually meeting in person for several reasons;
1. I don't want a stranger to have my phone number.
2. Guys are freaking creepy and will text all the time with terms of endearment and flirty message before we've even met. Ugh. What if, after we meet, they regret calling me "Sexy" or "Babe" or "Cutie"? I mean, I AM all of those things, but...come on!
3. I don't like talking on the phone. Period. There are about 3 people in this world with whom I can spend time on the phone without being bored out of my mind.
When a guy asks for my number before we meet so that we can text or chat, I just think it's weird.
Also, it's really disheartening to get a message from a guy who has clearly misspelled his profile name, or didn't even take a moment to spell check his email to me or the answers on his profile questions.
Really? You meant to make your user name "OldSchoolNuceGuy"?
I understand that I may need to lower my expectations when it comes to spelling, punctuation, and grammar. But, I've said it before, and I'm saying it again - A profile is someone's first impression of you. Why not put a little effort into it?
And speaking of first impressions. Why do guys pick the WORST pictures of themselves to post on their profiles? I don't know if I'm attracted to him if the only thing I have to base my opinion on is a blurry selfie taken with a pre-historic flip phone (featured prominently in the middle of his face). Nor can I judge whether I'm attracted to him if he posts a picture that is 6 yrs old. I mean, props to him for admitting that the picture was taken in 2008, but....no.
Only posting selfies is another huge turnoff. Doesn't he have any friends? Or does he only spend time in his bathroom taking pictures in the mirror? (I see those toothpaste stains...maybe, while you're admiring yourself, take some Windex and do a little cleaning)
Well, I'm glad to have gotten that off of my chest. There's plenty of fish in the sea, and I'm sure there's a handful out there that are worthwhile. In the meantime, I'm just going to complain a lot.
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
Monday, February 3, 2014
First and Last Date
Well, I had a date last Friday.
Who knew that right out of the gate I'd be presented with an ethical dilemma?
I had been chatting with this guy for a few days when he asked to meet for drinks.
He seemed nice enough, we had a few things in common, and for all intents and purposes, he seemed pretty promising.
We had planned to meet up at a bar on the East Side. It was not a bar I'd ever choose to take a first date to unless I was back in college, wanted to get hammered on $1 PBR's, and enjoyed bathrooms with sticky, gross floors.
No, thanks.
He was a half hour late. I get it - rush hour traffic and all. But, I was the one to contact him 10 minutes after he was supposed to arrive. And THEN he told me he was stuck in traffic.
Once he showed up (and here's where the ethical dilemma comes in) it was very clear that he had a physical disability.
Now, I completely understand that the next things I'm about to say could make people think that I'm a terrible and intolerant person interested in only the superficial.
If you know me, you know that's not true.
If you don't, then go ahead and think what you will.
As soon as I recognized that he was the person I was supposed to meet and noticed his disability, I was no longer interested in dating him.
I spent a lot of time thinking about the date and my reaction to it this weekend. My first thoughts were, why didn't he disclose this ahead of time? Then I thought, that's not really fair of me to expect him to tell me up front.
I felt like an asshole for not being able to see past a disability.
But, I also felt that I was put in a weird situation by not being given the whole picture ahead of time.
I know, I know, he's dealing with his own situation and his life probably isn't easy all the time.
It's a strange situation that all I can do is take as a learning experience.
I've learned that it's important to me that a prospective partner be able-bodied.
I've decided that I'm not a terrible person for wanting that.
I've also learned that I could be surprised by something every time I go to meet a new guy and just need to be prepared for anything that happens.
Apart from my immediate dismissal of a potential relationship with this guy based on his physical abilities, there were other problems that made it easier to decide not to pursue anything further with him.
1. He was late and it didn't cross his mind to let me know he was going to be late. That's just inconsiderate.
2. He told me he bought a house recently. Not with money he had saved by working hard, but with funds provided for by his parents. This is, and always will be, a deal breaker for me.
I'm at a stage in my life where I depend on no one financially, except myself. I expect a potential partner to have the same ideals. It's not cute to expect your parents to bail you out because you haven't planned properly or have them pay for some big expense just because you want it and can't afford it yourself.
3. His jokes were lame
4. He didn't strike me as someone who was really career oriented and also seemed to lack the drive that I have.
After re-reading my thoughts, it might seem like I gleaned a whole bunch of insight from only a couple hours of chatting, but I have always felt that I'm a good judge of character and will continue to trust my intuition.
This one turned out to be a dud.
Oh, well... Onward and upward, I guess!
Who knew that right out of the gate I'd be presented with an ethical dilemma?
I had been chatting with this guy for a few days when he asked to meet for drinks.
He seemed nice enough, we had a few things in common, and for all intents and purposes, he seemed pretty promising.
We had planned to meet up at a bar on the East Side. It was not a bar I'd ever choose to take a first date to unless I was back in college, wanted to get hammered on $1 PBR's, and enjoyed bathrooms with sticky, gross floors.
No, thanks.
He was a half hour late. I get it - rush hour traffic and all. But, I was the one to contact him 10 minutes after he was supposed to arrive. And THEN he told me he was stuck in traffic.
Once he showed up (and here's where the ethical dilemma comes in) it was very clear that he had a physical disability.
Now, I completely understand that the next things I'm about to say could make people think that I'm a terrible and intolerant person interested in only the superficial.
If you know me, you know that's not true.
If you don't, then go ahead and think what you will.
As soon as I recognized that he was the person I was supposed to meet and noticed his disability, I was no longer interested in dating him.
I spent a lot of time thinking about the date and my reaction to it this weekend. My first thoughts were, why didn't he disclose this ahead of time? Then I thought, that's not really fair of me to expect him to tell me up front.
I felt like an asshole for not being able to see past a disability.
But, I also felt that I was put in a weird situation by not being given the whole picture ahead of time.
I know, I know, he's dealing with his own situation and his life probably isn't easy all the time.
It's a strange situation that all I can do is take as a learning experience.
I've learned that it's important to me that a prospective partner be able-bodied.
I've decided that I'm not a terrible person for wanting that.
I've also learned that I could be surprised by something every time I go to meet a new guy and just need to be prepared for anything that happens.
Apart from my immediate dismissal of a potential relationship with this guy based on his physical abilities, there were other problems that made it easier to decide not to pursue anything further with him.
1. He was late and it didn't cross his mind to let me know he was going to be late. That's just inconsiderate.
2. He told me he bought a house recently. Not with money he had saved by working hard, but with funds provided for by his parents. This is, and always will be, a deal breaker for me.
I'm at a stage in my life where I depend on no one financially, except myself. I expect a potential partner to have the same ideals. It's not cute to expect your parents to bail you out because you haven't planned properly or have them pay for some big expense just because you want it and can't afford it yourself.
3. His jokes were lame
4. He didn't strike me as someone who was really career oriented and also seemed to lack the drive that I have.
After re-reading my thoughts, it might seem like I gleaned a whole bunch of insight from only a couple hours of chatting, but I have always felt that I'm a good judge of character and will continue to trust my intuition.
This one turned out to be a dud.
Oh, well... Onward and upward, I guess!
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Dear Single Men of Dating Websites,
Dear Single Men of Dating Websites,
I see that you're interested in me, and thank you very kindly for expressing interest in a myriad of ways.
But, here are a few tips on what is not appropriate when reaching out to me:
Is Not Appropriate:
Your first communication with me, be it via chat or email, should not be in all caps proclaiming that all women who have male friends are sluts. (Good luck with that approach! I hope you find that special lady soon.)
Is Not Appropriate:
Advising that, while I am "bangin' " (thank you so much!), not all eyes would be on me because I will be with a man who commands the room. (No, sir, you most definitely will not have to share your spotlight with me.)
Is Not Appropriate:
Emailing back and forth for weeks without suggesting we meet. (Isn't that the point of dating websites?)
Is Not Appropriate:
Telling me your wife lives in Milwaukee.
Is Not Appropriate:
Copying and pasting the same email you send to all the lovely ladies of the online dating world. (Yes, I can tell.)
Sincerely,
Sarah
I see that you're interested in me, and thank you very kindly for expressing interest in a myriad of ways.
But, here are a few tips on what is not appropriate when reaching out to me:
Is Not Appropriate:
Your first communication with me, be it via chat or email, should not be in all caps proclaiming that all women who have male friends are sluts. (Good luck with that approach! I hope you find that special lady soon.)
Is Not Appropriate:
Advising that, while I am "bangin' " (thank you so much!), not all eyes would be on me because I will be with a man who commands the room. (No, sir, you most definitely will not have to share your spotlight with me.)
Is Not Appropriate:
Emailing back and forth for weeks without suggesting we meet. (Isn't that the point of dating websites?)
Is Not Appropriate:
Telling me your wife lives in Milwaukee.
Is Not Appropriate:
Copying and pasting the same email you send to all the lovely ladies of the online dating world. (Yes, I can tell.)
Sincerely,
Sarah
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Well, well, well....
Back on the market means back to blogging.
My absence was due to the fact that I was dating a pretty awesome guy that just turned out not to be The One.
So, I'm back on the prowl - but only taking baby steps for now.
I just updated some online dating profiles, still mulling over when I'll pay for subscriptions.
But the weirdos are already flocking on the free websites!
I'm not sure if I'll stick to my old rules of having to say yes to all dates that are offered to me. Right now I'm just getting myself used to the idea of being back in the dating game.
Considering that it's not summer right now and I won't be saying yes to everyone that offers me a date; you can probably expect the name of my blog to change soon.
Stay tuned for the musings of a 30 yr old single lady...
My absence was due to the fact that I was dating a pretty awesome guy that just turned out not to be The One.
So, I'm back on the prowl - but only taking baby steps for now.
I just updated some online dating profiles, still mulling over when I'll pay for subscriptions.
But the weirdos are already flocking on the free websites!
I'm not sure if I'll stick to my old rules of having to say yes to all dates that are offered to me. Right now I'm just getting myself used to the idea of being back in the dating game.
Considering that it's not summer right now and I won't be saying yes to everyone that offers me a date; you can probably expect the name of my blog to change soon.
Stay tuned for the musings of a 30 yr old single lady...
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